Recently, I was asked to give my opinion about Financial Infidelity on Fox Business News. It is an issue I deal with a lot, and as usual, I have an opinion and a strong one at that! But, the reason I sound so definitive when asked questions about Financial Infidelity is that I’m out there every day, and I’ve seen all sorts of tricks and creative money masquerading techniques. The one thing I’ve learned as a PI though, is that “there’s always a trail” if you look hard enough.
And I do.
Financial Infidelity occurs when husbands and wives hide money from each other. How they do it can vary from having secret accounts in various institutions around the world to stuffing it into a mattress in the guest room. This type of infidelity is almost always a symptom of severe problems elsewhere in the marriage. In some cases, one spouse is preparing to divorce the other and they are trying to reduce their overall worth. Other times, they are funding trips, houses, gifts, and many other things for a whole other relationship – sometimes even a whole other family.
It is usually one of these situations where I am called in to uncover hidden assets. Security and privacy laws make it difficult for private investigators to gather the hard evidence needed to prove there are unaccounted for monies or assets. Instead, I try to expose enough questionable activity so attorneys can issue subpoenas that will provide the proof needed to confirm these suspicions.
How do I do this?
I watch and wait, and usually dishonesty exposes itself. For example, a husband repeatedly veers off his usual route to work to visit a different bank. Or, he spends time meeting with bank representatives from various financial institutions. If he is claiming he has no money, this is a very suspicious way to spend his time. My goal is to bring to light enough evidence that a judge agrees with me and issues the subpoenas needed.
While many of these people are in income brackets most people only dream about, financial infidelity can occur in any marriage. Maybe some cash you bring home goes into a “secret stash” under your bed. Or, perhaps you cashed out some investments from your single life and kept it in a separate account. You should ask yourself why you are doing this? Is there something you don’t trust in your relationship? Is there something you are preparing for? Whatever the reason, understand financial infidelity has become a part of your marriage. I suggest you resolve it before it before becomes your whole marriage.
Remember, whether in the bedroom or the bankbook – cheating is cheating.