So, I’m sitting in a local restaurant. Being the people watcher that I am, I notice a couple sitting at a table diagonal from me. Her back is facing me and she’s holding her phone. I’m watching. I get a pang of nausea as her arm extends upwards. Ugh. She’s going to take a selfie. As I take a sip of my dirty martini to quell the gagging (I still can’t look away) it’s not her face I see in the frame of the screen. It’s her “girls”. And she’s got some crazy cleavage going on. As she snaps a down shirt shot, she giggles. But that’s not the naughty part. As her fingers begin to dance across the screen, I notice her date has picked up his phone. He smiles at her with a devilish grin. It’s digital foreplay in action.
I know I should just accept that today’s digital foreplay is yesterday’s eyelash batting, or the social media version of flirting. But, even if I were to refrain from judging, which is a stretch to begin with, I can’t help but wonder, “do these people know what this behavior can lead to?”
Remember, this preoccupation with sending suggestive, and sometime full on naked pictures is not restricted to partners or even people we know well. Certainly not people we should trust with intimate images of ourselves. Think about the guy you met on Plenty of Fish. Though you haven’t met in person, you think it a good idea to send a little teaser. And he promptly returns the favor – a photo of him playing Anthony Weiner. Yeah, I just went there.
But Congressman Weiner is a perfect example of the risks inherent in this kind of behavior. By now, we have all heard stories of how private photos are used and abused online. But, the use of these photos has become so targeted, vengeful, and common place, it is finally being recognized by the courts.
Jilted lovers posting intimate photos and videos online, without consent, in an effort to humiliate and disparage their exes is known as “revenge porn.” And it’s kind of a big deal. This month, the Arizona Senate approved a bill aimed at addressing this issue, making it a felony to post explicit pictures on line without the subject’s consent. Seven states have already criminalized revenge porn, also known as “cyber rape”, including New Jersey and California.
I think that’s great, but it still doesn’t protect you from the far-reaching effects of “baring” yourself on-line to friends, family, and strangers. Remember, before you have found the offending images, sued, and won your case, millions across the globe have already opened and shared the files. The results could be devastating, and in some cases, life altering. Again, I call on Mr. Weiner as a “well-seen” example.
So, what’s my advice on how to protect yourself from virtual voyeurs sleeping with nudies of you under their pillows?
Simply put
Stay away from taking the stinkin’ naked pictures in the first place!
Remember….whether up skirt or down shirt, what began as digital foreplay can easily morph into revenge porn. It’s just a click away!
