This Sunday marks another day of celebrating the universally agreed upon hardest job in the world. I don’t really think one day is enough considering the beating many of us take the other 364 days a year, but I’ll take it. If you’re like me, you’ll receive a card reading something like this, “To the Best Mom in the World.” Let’s be honest, we can’t all be the Best Mom in the World. But it seems, at least according to Hallmark, that it is something we should all strive for. I confess it is something I think about. Ok – a lot. Am I doing a good job, or am I really messing up? Will my son be a successful, independent adult, or will my parenting skills cause him to spend many adult hours on a couch in a therapist’s office?
As a Private Investigator, I certainly see my share of parenting styles. Some I admire and can learn from, but some, not so much:
After receiving information I uncovered about her cheating husband, one mother felt it necessary to tell her 5 year old “daddy has a girlfriend” without considering the long term effects that information would have on him. By the way they are back together, but the boy will carry that memory his whole life.
In another situation I uncovered a mom committing financial infidelity by hiding purchases on a separate credit card she had sent to her office. However, her teenage daughters knew what was going on and were repeatedly told, “don’t tell daddy”. These poor kids were put in the middle of a dishonest relationship with a primary role model asking them to lie to another parent. How will they function in their own relationships?
So, before I get too cynical – something I can do after seeing so many damaging situations, I decided to this year celebrate the good in so many moms. I have a lot of clients and a lot of friends who are super moms, and I put together a list that I think defines this group.
My Top Ten List of What Makes a Super Mom
- They are HONEST. These moms never shy away from a question, but they know the limits of what a child can, and should have to handle.
- They are COMMUNICATORS. In all of their busy lives, they ALWAYS find the time to talk to and know what’s going on in their kid’s lives.
- They are INVOLVED. Moms, whether they work or not, should be involved. If you can’t make one game, then make the next. Can’t make any games? Then help with a project. Just do something.
- They are CONSISTENT. Super moms make a rule and stand by it. Yes, sometimes it’s tough. That’s why these moms are great.
- They are PROTECTIVE. Protective enough to know when to advocate for their child, and when to shield them from information they cannot handle.
- They are TECHNOLOGICALLY SAVVY – These moms keep up with the trends and know what their kids are doing on-line. They are not afraid to spy when needed.
- They are LISTENERS. Moms who listen, learn. They know what is going on and can be there to help before a crisis. They listen between the lines.
- They are STRONG. They can handle many kids, many problems. They take what is dealt and move forward. The best ones even keep a smile on their face!
- They are BALANCE ARTISTS. These moms know how to give and give and give. But they know how to take time for themselves. In doing so, they are better moms, and teach their kids an important lesson about balance.
- THEY ARE ALWAYS A MOM. In everything they do and wherever they are they never forget they are a mom. Every choice they make includes a thought, even subconsciously, of how it will affect their kids. And, these truly great moms continue even when their kids are married with families of their own!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Super Moms!
